Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Sensory Overload - A Mother's Open Letter...

 copied from FB :
Single Mothers who have Children with Autism · 
 I know you've seen me. I'm that mother you pass whose trying to console her screaming child. You think the kid looks too old to behave this way; kicking, thrusting, pushing, smacking and grabbing, all while letting out shrill cries and screams. The mother seems unrealistically calm but her face shows signs of fatigue. You stare for a moment before thinking to yourself, "Dear god, how could she let that brat behave that way?" I know how you're feeling at that moment… I used to be like you; I resigned myself to judgment until I was on the other end of the glare.

It seems to me that, by nature, humans are extremely judgmental creatures, especially on sensitive subjects such as parenting. We rarely take a moment to realize that there are circumstances in which we just don't understand because we haven't "been there." I'm guilty of it and I'm sure you are, too.

My son has something called Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified, which is a high functioning form of Autism. With so many children diagnosed with Autism every year, I'm astounded by how ignorant people are towards it. Before Ben was diagnosed, my only knowledge of Autism was from some of the children that I went to school with and from entertainment. I never realized how broad the spectrum of Autism was.

You see, Ben is a very intelligent, imaginative, expressive, sensitive and creative little guy. To me, he is pure sunshine and one of the few things that can immediately pull me out of any funk. He has a brilliant smile that lights up a room, curious brown eyes with endless depths of thoughts and perceptions and a gentle, sweet, happy disposition that can't be matched. He can charm anyone who comes in contact with him and has a giggle that melts even the most frozen of hearts.

At first glance, Ben is a typical 3 year old boy. But my son has trouble with verbal and social skills. It wasn't until very recently that he started saying words that many parents take for granted by this age, like "Mommy," "Daddy," "eat" and simple expressions of wants and needs. Ben still prefers to play on the periphery of other children if not completely alone and it sometimes takes a bit to puncture through the bubble he puts around himself to be part of his world. Like many other children with Autism, Ben has heightened sensations. While most of us can focus on one particular thing, like a conversation with someone else, for Ben, his mind would be focusing on the conversation, the light in the room, the other sounds in the room, the smells, the texture of the clothes he's wearing, the other sights in the room; unable to filter one as a priority over the others. This becomes, literally, a painful experience for Ben as his brain is unable to filter with all the signals being thrust upon him all at once. I mean, could you possibly imagine what my son goes through on a day to day basis?

Going anywhere requires precise planning and delicate timing. Through experience, I have learned the best stores and the best times of day to take Ben. I know this isn't particularly uncommon for parents of small children, but it's a little more involved in that. Ben needs an established, structured routine in his life. This sense of absolute helps him feel as though he has more control over his life and assures him that everything is okay. The slightest breech in this routine could be catastrophic for him. I have learned that he has certain comfort mechanisms that may be able to help him center himself again. For Ben, this is often a soft textured fabric (e.g. a favorite plush, a soft blanket or the stuffing from the inside of a pillow) to rub his face on or by rubbing or gently squeezing his limbs.

But sometimes, these are simply not enough and his sensory perception becomes just too much for him to be able to calm himself and he goes into something called, "Sensory Overload." When this happens, Ben begins crying and screaming; kicking and thrusting. When this happens, I'm often kicked, pinched, smacked, have my glasses pulled off my face and thrown and feel helpless that I can't console my child. Ben doesn't know how to express to me what he's going through or how he's feeling and that mutual feeling of frustrated desperation is felt by both of us. When this happens, it is my job to remove Ben from the situation as much as possible, stay calm, loving, compassionate and understanding. I know that when Ben is having sensory overload, that he's in pain and I know that no matter how much he may do to me, I know he's in far more agony than I could ever be in. My priority at that moment isn't about my comfort, the other patrons of wherever we may be, but on the needs of my child.

If everyone would take just a split second to push aside their judgments and remember that we may not know everything, maybe this world would be a more compassionate place. The next
time you see me, or another parent like me, out in public, remember that it isn't because of bad parenting. That child that they're trying to comfort may be in actual pain and any parent who loves their child would do anything to take that pain away, despite what anyone else may think.

Nancy E Sheppard via http://voices.yahoo.com/sensory-overload-11521226.html?cat=5
 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

activities during school holidays!!! yet more to come....


swimming at IIUM sport complex




 everyday, they must watch BRAVE, adik kata cerita 'kakak Merida'





adik's new hairdo!!!

 



Feeding the fish at kolam kat ofis mommy. Irfan kalau boleh tiap2 hari nak pergi




balik kampung....jumpa atuk nenek, cousins. pergi tengok goat, makan buah




 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

amir baca buku!!

assalamualaikum....

alhamdulillah, masih diberi peluang oleh Illahi bernafas walaupun kebelakangan ni tak berapa sihat disebabkan batuk yang on-off since sebelum puasa. lagi teruk kadang2 sampai semput and need inhaler. nasib baik x kena nebs. semua tu rezeki dari Allah. syukur Alhamdulillah....

lama tak update pasal budak bertiga ni, tapi hari ni nak cerita pasal Amir Asyraaf dulu lah...

rasanya dia semakin aktif n 'nakal'. kalau dia nak sesuatu dia nak2 jugak walaupun dah banyak kali marah n sound dia.

sangat obses dgn TOY STORY 3. sampai dah hafal dialog. pastu asyik rewind n forward. mmg habis punah jahanam le dvd tu.

still nak poo dalam diaper gak tapi cakap "nak berak toilet"! *mommy tepuk dahi!*

but one thing yang mommy really proud, he can read the whole book depan kawan2. good job my hensem n clever boy!

dah banyak word yang keluar dari mulut dia. kalau nak mintak apa2 gesture (seperti ambil botol air) dan kata2 (nak mango!). sekarang ni buat approach, kalau tak cakap nak apa tak nak layan...paksa gak dia bercakap

kalau tangan dia tak occupied dgn something e.g handphone, tablet, his magnetic alphabet, books, etc, mesti dia nak masuk tangan dalam mulut. kalau dia geram or marah pun sama gak, mesti nk gigit tangan!!! alahai anak omak....

ok, enuff for this post...wassalam...

amir lepak dalam besen sambil main handphone


 

Monday, April 30, 2012

update - 30th april 2012

assalamualaikum w.r.t

lama tak buat posting pasal kanak2 riang saya...

amir asyraaf



bulan july ni amir will be 6. alahai how times fly....jap je amir dah nak masuk std 1.
amir still sekolah kt nasom. fine motor skill still weak but dah byk improvement. kesian amir, mommy tak sempat nak buat aktiviti byk2 ngan amir. balik sekolah selalunya amir akan tido awal, n mommy balik je rumah terus bersilat kat dapur n buat kerja rumah yang lain. adik2 pun nak perhatian mommy jugak. i'll try my best ye darling. hopefully bulan june nnt, bila mommy punya task kat umah dah berkurang, kita will spend more time doing interesting stuff for your self development. u really taught me perseverance, patient and love....I love u sayang...


irfan iskandar


mamat yg memang banyak mulut. pagi2 bangun kalau tak mengamuk nak mandi kalau tak buat drama tak sah! sabor je lah mommy n abah. tak nak baju tu le, tak nak spender yang ni, tak nak gosok gigi, etc...penat melayan drama prince sorang ni...bila mommy ajak buat homework, dia boleh cakap "tak nak buat home, irfan nak main.."
suka ikut abah pergi solat kat surau tapi tak solat pun, kacau org solat je....
makan mmg banyak, esp kalau mommy suap tapi badan tetap kenit
sekarang dah pandai tak nak ikut mommy n abah, nak ikut atuk le, nak naik aeroplane ngan ummi le...suka hati dia je...
pandai ajak adik main. selalunya ajak adik jadi partner-in-crime dia...pastu suka betul menyakat adik n abang amir. suka dengar org tu nangis2 n jerit2...geramnya kalau time tu mommy tgh buat kerja. mula le suara main kuat mcm tertelan mic....


aisyah amanda


ni pun banyak mulut gak. dah boleh form ayat from more than 3 words. example: "ammy, atit ale aicah" (read: mommy, sakit kepala aisyah)
kejap address herself as 'aisyah', sometimes 'adik'
kuat gak mengadu. kalau nangis, mommy tanya sape buat mesti dia bgtau
kalau amir atau irfan something yang dia tahu mommy akan marah, cepat je dia ngadu....haisyyy
rajin tolong mommy. kalau suruh dia buang sampah ke, masuk kain dalam bakul ke mmg cepat je
semoga adik akan ringan tulang tolong mommy sampai ke besar le hendaknya
sangat manja ngan mommy tapi kalau tanya adik ni anak sape? dia mesti jawab abah...
rambut makan kerinting. i heart her rambut sooo much...tapi kalau nak sikat mmg seksa le sikit
dah makin tembam n gemuk...kuat makan ni....

ok le, itu je update kanak2 riang saya.....

wassalam...

my autism note - #6

I wish most people will aware!!!




Sunday, February 26, 2012

my autism note - #4

Peranan Ibu Bapa Kepada Perkembangan Pendidikan Kanak-Kanak Dengan Berkeperluan Khas

Ibu bapa yang mempunyai anak dengan keperluan khas menghadapi beberapa masalah dalam kehidupan harian, antaranya:

  • Sifat malu dan rendah diri akibat dari fizikal atau tingkah laku anak khas mereka yang berbeza
  • Cabaran dalam mengurus anak khas mereka yang memerlukan rawatan yang berterusan samaada berkaitan masalah kesihatan yang kompleks atau kelewatan (delayed) dalam perkembangan secara individu
  • Kerisauan kepada sistem pendidikan yang kurang menyokong kepada keperluan anak khas mereka.

Perkara yang digariskan adalah antara isu utama yang perlu diberi perhatian dan di bimbing secara professional.

Kesediaan untuk belajar dan menerima pandangan secara terbuka dan kebolehan untuk adapt and adopt nasihat yang diperolehi dari orang yang mahir dan relevan dengan tahap keupayaan anak adalah dipercayai akan dapat menyokong perkembangan pembesaran anak khas ini.

Sebagai permulaan dilontarkan idea ke arah penyelesaian awal bagi 3 masalah yang dinyatakan di atas.

  • Untuk mengelakkan ibubapa merasa rendah diri dan malu untuk berhadapan dengan masalah sosial secara berterusan adalah digalakkan ibubapa untuk terlibat dengan mana-mana badan bukan kerajaan (NGO) yang berkaitan dengan masalah anak,contohnya Persatuan Syndrome Down, NASOM dan lain-lain lagi. Tindakan ini akan mendedahkan ibu bapa kepada perbincangan dengan ibu bapa lain yang mempunyai masalah yang hampir sama dengan apa yang ditanggung oleh ibu bapa (common goal) iaitu berkisar dari masalah kesihatan, perkembangan anak dan pendidikan anak-anak. Hal ini akan memberi rasa kelegaan dan idea baru dalam mendidik anak-anak khas anda.
  • Bagi isu kesihatan anak, ibu bapa perlu banyak berbincang dengan professional perubatan seperti dokor di hospital atau para-profesional yang lain seperti ahli psaikology, jurupulih cara kerja atau audiology. Ibu bapa digalakkan membuat dairi atau catatan perkembangan sesuatu peringkat perkembangan anaknya. Seterusnya berbincang dengan pihak perubatan atau kesihatan dan maklumkan perkembangan yang telah anak anda capai. Maklumat yang terperinci boleh membantu pihak doktor membuat analisa tentang maslah perkembangan anak. Gunakan kesempatan masa berjumpa doktor yang terhad dengan memberi maklumat yang boleh membantu ibu bapa ke arah didikan atau terapi yang merangsang pertumbuhan fizikal atau minda yang selari dengan kanak-kanak normal yang lain,
  • Akhirnya berkaitan pendidikan anak-anak anda dalam pendidikan khas. Isu ini perlu banyak berbincang dengan pihak sekolah terutamanya guru pendidikan khas. Sebaiknya hantar anak anda ke sekolah secara tetap, kecuali jika anak anda sakit dan mmerlukan rawatan lanjutan, Kehadiran anak ke sekolah secara konsisten setiap hari ke sekolah akan mempengaruhi sikap sosial anak anda. Seterusnya meningkatkan tahap keyakinan diri anak. Jangan terlalu mengharapkan guru memberi terlalu banyak perhatian atau menolong pada keperluan anak anda, Tindakan ini akan menggalakkan anak anda untuk TIDAK berfikir dan TIDAK belajar untuk menyelesaikan masalah dalam kehidupan harianya.

Cuba selesaikan masalah utama yang dinyatakan di atas mengikut kesesuaian anak. Cuba dari kesilapan sambil membuat pindaan masalah kepada yang lebih baik. Percayalah ibu bapa adalah guru yang terbaik untuk anak anda. Ibu bapa mempunyai 9 ke 10 jam sehari untuk fokus bersama anak anda berbanding guru yang cuma ada 5 ke 6 jam sehari di dalam kelas bersama-sama 4 ke 7 lagi murid khas yang lain.

source: click here

Sunday, January 8, 2012

my autism note - #2



Muhammad Danial pelajar autisme pertama negara dapat 9A

KUALA TERENGGANU 22 Dis. - Biarpun mengalami masalah autisme, ia tidak menghalang pelajar Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Agama (SMKA) Sheikh Abdul Malek, Muhammad Danial Zainuddin, 16, memperoleh keputusan cemerlang 9A dalam peperiksaan yang diumumkan hari ini.

Lebih membanggakan, dia bukan sahaja memperoleh keputusan 9A malah diumumkan pelajar autisme pertama di negara mendapat kejayaan seumpamanya.

Muhammad Danial mula dikesan mengalami autisme ketika usianya dua tahun apabila sukar berkomunikasi dan menyesuaikan diri dengan persekitaran selain bersifat hiperaktif.

Muhammad Danial ketika ditemui di sini hari ini memberitahu, dia gembira kerana berjaya memperoleh keputusan cemerlang itu biarpun dia tidak normal seperti rakan-rakan lain.

"Memang saya pelajar autisme tetapi saya juga suka belajar seperti pelajar lain dan setiap hari hanya satu mata pelajaran saya mampu mengulang kaji dan setiap kali habis menelaah saya akan ingat semua apa yang dibaca dengan mudah.

"Saya sangat gembira mendapat keputusan ini dan sudah tentu ibu, bapa dan guru juga gembira," katanya.

Anak sulung daripada tiga beradik itu merupakan satu-satunya pelajar pendidikan khas yang mengambil peperiksaan tersebut di sekolah tersebut dan dia juga pernah menerima anugerah Tokoh Pelajar sempena Hari Guru peringkat negeri dua tahun lalu kerana memperoleh 5A dalam Ujian Pencapaian Sekolah Rendah (UPSR).

Dalam pada itu, ibu bapa pelajar autisme tersebut, Ruzina Mohd. Ikram, 46, dan Zainuddin Muhamad, 46, meraikan kegembiraan berganda apabila seorang lagi anak mereka yang juga adik kepada Muhammad Danial, Nurul Diana, 15, yang menduduki peperiksaan itu juga memperoleh keputusan cemerlang yang sama.

source: here

my autism note - #1

source: here


Empowering the disabled


Parents, advocates and caregivers across the nation are of one heart and mind that more can be done for the learning disabled community. Here is their wish list.

Teh Beng Choon, chairman, National Autism Society of Malaysia

We, as parents and advocates, need to continue to speak up for the learning disabled, particularly in the area of education. The education system has to better serve children with special needs and those with disabilities.

While some of these students have done very well in school, their achievements have been largely attributed to the commitment of their parents and supportive carers. I wonder how large a role the special education facilities play in their achievements as my own observation tells me that many children with special needs or disabilities drop out before even completing primary school.

The ministry should immediately implement Individual Education Programmes (IEPs) for every special child in school, and review the IEPs every quarter. Remedial facilities should also be implemented so that no child is left behind.

Many children with learning disabilities struggle with the mastery of language. To demand that they be educated in a language that is not one that they have mastered is to deny them the education and recognition that they need.

Our education system does not leave room for parents to choose the kind of education they want for their children. While we recognise the need for the nation to guide the development of its citizens and prepare the youths to meet and participate in national development plans, the strategies employed must not stifle development outside these goals nor deny the development of individuals who cannot fit into the greater plan.

There needs to be a liberalisation of our education system so that students can pursue fields of study where they can excel in and contribute, in the language of their choice and in an environment of their choice, be it in a public school or in a communal or home setting.

The cost of bringing up a special needs child or Orang Kurang Upaya(OKU) as defined by the Social Welfare Department, is much more than that of bringing up an able-bodied child. To help OKU to reach their full potential, the Government should consider implementing a Corporate Social Responsibility policy to make education free for all OKU up to the tertiary level in both public and private institutions of higher learning. These institutions must set aside 1% of their intake for OKUs and fund their education. All institutions of higher learning are encouraged to set up offices to support disabled and special needs students as provided for under the 10th Malaysia Plan.

A wish for 2012: PWD advocates like Teh Beng Choon, Chng Cheng Hui and Khor Ai-Na hope that remedial facilities will be implemented so that no special needs child is left behind.

Research has shown that people with learning disabilities fare better in an inclusive environment. In line with this, the Education Ministry should ensure that a least one school in every district must have inclusion programmes for disabled children.

Families are naturally protective of their special needs children. As such, most will not send their children to the special schools set up by the Government although full board and lodging is available. Commuting to these schools is a struggle for both the OKU and their carers. The Government must study the needs in every district and provide the necessary facilities in every district to cater for those OKUs who cannot attend regular school.

Non-governmental organisations (NGOs) provide an invaluable service to OKU throughout the country, filling in gaps in social service delivery and advocating for the rights and interests of the communities they serve. They also provide feedback to the authorities for planning and policy-making, and bring together Corporate Malaysia, the rakyat and the Government to improve the status of OKU in the country.

However, most NGOs are hard pressed for funds and often operate from ill-maintained rented premises. To assist NGOs, state governments must commit to build and maintain a community centre in every district to house deserving NGOs to deliver services to the OKU community.

Autism is a life-long disability that has no cure. The incidence of autism is reported to be on the rise in most countries. The latest research finding shows that autism affects 1 in every 38 children. Yet in Malaysia, autism is not treated as an urgent issue that warrants government attention.

I know of many well qualified professional parents who quit their jobs to look after their autistic children. The cost of autism is very high for the individual, the affected families and the nation as a whole. We have requested for funding from the Government for an epidemiological study to be done in Malaysia, as well as funding for research projects for the early detection of autism. I hope this wish will be granted in 2012.

Chng Cheng Hui, executive secretary, Society of Families of Persons with Learning Disabilities

There should be on-site health checks for persons with disabilities (PWDs) who have difficulty going to hospitals. A mobile medical team should be set up to provide this service. There should also be “Equipment Loan Centres” to assist PWDs own equipment that can help enhance their quality of life.

The Government’s allowance for gainfully employed PWDs should be made accessible through ATMs. Presently, they are required to go to the nearest Bank Simpanan Nasional branch to withdraw the money personally. If they miss the deadline, they will have to go to the Social Welfare Department in KL to explain their case to get their allowance.

PWDs should be granted free access to public amenities (such as transportation) and recreational premises.

For parents of PWDs, the Government should provide financial and skills training assistance to encourage them to start rehabilitation services for their children.

The Government should consider giving a monthly allowance (of RM500) to families taking care of PWDs as well as provide free health care to parents of PWDs.

Government agencies should set aside a small budget for sourcing required items from NGOs. There are plenty of items produced by NGOs that government agencies could buy. Some examples are handicrafts for door gifts, soap, and cakes and cookies.

The Government should also grant tax exemption status to NGOs serving PWDs..

Khor Ai-Na, chief operating officer, Asia Community Service, Penang

We hope that our learning disabled children will have a smooth transition when they start formal schooling after graduating from early intervention programmes. We hope for school heads and teachers to be more compassionate and considerate, and give our children a chance in mainstream schools instead of pushing them straight to classes with special education programmes (as these classes segregate them from the rest of the students in school).

We also hope that families do not have to beg for services or schools of their choice, and that the teacher assistant programme will be extended outside the Klang Valley.

Tan Pek Yimm, committee member, Autism Support Association for Parents, Ipoh

The association set up a school to meet the needs of autistic children three years ago. Although we have many parents who are interested in enrolling their children in our school, we are unable to meet the demands as we are a small set-up. We have 10 students and our biggest challenge is to recruit teachers and teacher aides. We hope to attract more teachers; at present there are only three of us. Of course, more funds will help considerably.

This year, we are expanding beyond academics. We are looking at enhancing living skills. As such, we are introducing baking and wood crafting classes.

One Voice is a monthly column which serves as a platform for professionals, parents and careproviders of persons with learning difficulties. Feedback on the column can be sent toonevoice4ld@gmail.com. For enquiries of services and support groups, please call Dignity & Services ( 03-7725 5569).

What will the future hold?

Roselind Wee and Charles Siaw, Kuching Autistic Association

We hope for more support from the Government and the public. Social services should be more extensive. We hear of the services available from our friends who have migrated overseas and we yearn for these services – such as the provision of speech therapists, psychologists and teacher aides for the learning disabled – to be made available here, too.

Transportation needs to be provided for the disabled as they are not able to take public transport or the school bus. My husband and I have to fork out RM400 on transport alone for our autistic child and that is a huge chunk of our salary.

There is a need for respite care for parents whose children are severely disabled. This is to enable them to take a break so that they can recharge themselves to carry on the burden of caring for their family members who are not able to care for themselves.

Presently the range of services provided by the Government is limited. Parents have to pay for such services from their own pockets. These include expenses for special diets, vitamin supplements, speech therapy and other types of therapy. Presently parents can only claim a sum of RM5,000 as tax relief which is hardly sufficient. The amount of tax relief should be increased to RM20,000 per annum.

When we are gone, what will the future hold for our disabled child? This is an issue that haunts us. Even if we leave him money, he does not know what to do with it. We worry that he will be cheated and dumped somewhere. Will he roam the streets feeding on leftover food? Every time we pass by a man sleeping on the street, we wonder whether that will be the fate of our child when we depart from this earth. This is the deepest heartache of any parent. Unless you are in a similar position, you can’t imagine the pain and suffering we go through.

How can we as parents leave them in this world knowing that they cannot fend for themselves? Therefore, our wish is that the Government will spend more on providing care for autistic people, particularly the severely handicapped ones.

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